i would punch a child for taco bell
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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