He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
