Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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