I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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