ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Come on in and take your pants off
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