she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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