So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
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Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize