All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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