it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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