the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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