Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
