My hand turned me down
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't put those talents on a resume
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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