Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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