physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
