guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
