Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
