So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
