I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
