Its about making memories worth repressing
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
