she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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