why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
