I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
