ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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