my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize