R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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