i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
