redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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