Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
