Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
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I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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