The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
