yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize