you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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