Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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