some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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