I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
