i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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