Sponge bath it is.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
