she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dignity is for republicans.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
