honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
