Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
