Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.

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(925): View more from California

After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.

(917): View more from New York City

what ever happened to our old dealer?

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(828): View more from North Carolina

No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry

(828): View more from North Carolina

Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots

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