Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...

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(317): View more from Indiana

can you pick me up an extra syllabus

(317): View more from Indiana

i passed out in the shower again

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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(909): View more from California

that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though

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(903): View more from Texas

All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.

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(702): View more from Nevada

if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now

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(727): View more from Florida

You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.

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