called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
