thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
