Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
