North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
