Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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