That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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