he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
