just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
