i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
