if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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