Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize