i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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