Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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