Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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