It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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