I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
