my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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