belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
