Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
